Writing Prompt Post: The King shows up on your doorstep

 I would've expected a fanfare of trumpets, and an expensive red carpet....

Instead I heard a chicken-picking telecaster riff, a steady train beat and deep-fried purplish hues flooding through the peephole.

I couldn't resist so I threw open the door revealing my eager smirk. I felt like I would finally meet Santa in flesh and blood. Well, same body type anway. But, this dude's costume was a cream colored one piece leatherish suit, with a raging diamondback pattern and bedazzled threads gracefully straining to hold in Rock & Roll royalty.

I was staring at the birth of disco...which was clinging to chic and retro styles. The King knew how to...everything.

As a comb quickly flitted up to his hair-do, the fringe on his arm waved up and down as if it were a few tens of groupies saying, 'Oh, King! Let me do the honors.'

As he finished, he smoothly sliced through his pocket with the comb and twisted his head revealing his aviators, toothpick between his snarling lips, and glorious Wolverine chops!!

He spun on one loafer, threw his arm up index finger extended, thrust his hip to the side, and.....

'FPHFPFHPFHPHFPFHPpfhpfhpfhfptt!'

I guess that was the fanfare I was looking for.

Writing Prompt Post: You found the end of the rainbow.

I had this spur of the moment idea to start blogging based on this book of writing prompts. No matter how good or bad the results are, I'm going to start answering the prompts as blogs. The first one is in the subject.

There it was. Glorious and vibrant! Like a kaleidoscope orgasm. The ground where the rainbow sat was saturated with some kind of warmth that gave me a hug from across the meadow. Dew glittered the blades of grass just inside the circle of the prism. The brightest patch of flowers grew in little bunches, ready to be plucked and could get any significant other to forgive the most horrid deeds. Everything shimmered, everything was a glow. Warm fuzzy creatures did somersaults and giggled like care free children. Bugs vibrated and fluttered back and forth like a hypnotizing stopwatch. The creepy crawlies weren't creepy, the humid air was like a fresh beach breeze. Everything was screaming everlasting life! Inviting me in.

But, I did not go.
I wanted the gold goddamnit!

The first time I tried dog food. (Memories of when I was a 3-year old Pt. 1)

Here are a few memories I have from when I lived in Corpus Christi, TX.

 -I remember always waking up before everyone. I never wanted to sleep in as a 2-3 year old. I had so many things to do and see, I guess. I would usually do one of two things. I would always be ready to eat, and I suppose that’s necessary for the king of the castle…to get his way…

I would always help my mom by preparing the food before she got up though, so I guess you could say I was a gracious king. I would crack an egg or two into whatever pan I could reach. But, of course, I had no idea how to cook. Nor did I have the knowledge of electric stoves at the time, so your concerns should be quelled knowing that I walked away only half done with breakfast. 

Maybe that’s why I still leave projects unfinished.

The other thing I did, while the eggs cooked in the kitchen breeze, was to get my caffeine fix from all the unfinished coffee mugs sitting in the dining room table. Those mugs were filled with lipstick stains, lies, and lost poker money. By the way, I paid attention to the lipstick stains. Those cups had the sweetest coffee in them. I only later understood - men don’t soften things up. They’re tough on things, and like things to be tough back to em.

          I remember my grandmother. I remember always being a little shit, and that’s definitely never changed now that I’m older. I remember her being there for quite some time. But, sadly the memories are vague now. I have been told, I got a little wooden snake for Christmas or a Birthday, and I would play with it too close to her. This caused her to get flustered, and in reply to her asking me to ‘Get that thing away from me, Nicholas. I don’t like snakes!’ I would run over to her and say,

‘Grama! Yes you do!’

‘No I don’t!’

Yes, you do!’

And so on…

My grandmother had a little toy poodle named Prissy. That little bitch ate my He-Man toys. But she only ate the hands up. She would terrorize the toilet paper and then decorate the living room with it. I guess we weren't as hip to the latest Shit show fashions as she was. 

She was a yappy dog, but I don’t remember her being annoyingly loud. Just an annoying pent up little asshole, who ate my toys hands. I’ll never understand why just the hands. It’s not like they fed her…

One night my Grama let my sister and I eat dog food. I think I recall my mom and aunt going to see a movie. So we stayed at home, up late, watching Masterpiece Theatre with Grama. Naturally, while playing with our fingerless toys. At one point, Kitty my sister, thought she wanted to see what dog food tasted like. So, we asked Grama what it tasted like, and if we could try some. I think my Grama was a bit reticent, but couldn’t really stop us, so we each took a piece.

SALTY! With an odd chewy texture, kind of like if you’ve ever bitten into a bouillon cube. (Don’t lie, ya dicks! I know some of you have!)

I don't remember us being repelled by it. I think we were both more in the mood to scratch our heads at how odd our dog was for liking something so weird…but, I can’t say for sure that we both weren't appalled. I suppose now I might have a different opinion, but I haven’t tried any since then and I don’t really plan on revisiting the idea anytime soon.

I also remember my grandmother’s gas mask and oxygen tank.

My grandmother had, and passed away from, emphysema. She spent most of her time on the couch, and obviously, moved very little. I still see the withered frame with thinning white straw-hair. She wore a gown and dark colored socks. 

Always. 

I don’t ever think I saw her eat, but I suppose she always had a glass of water nearby. And a constant stream of oxygen through the little nose-piece attached to a greenish tube running to her tank. I still wonder why those always seem to be green…

I don’t remember her passing away, or my mom and aunt being upset. I think they were prepared for it, and handled it well.

I think we did get rid of the dog very quickly afterward though.

Kali Ma Remix Experiment Sample

This quickie is my Day 3 song for Songwriting Month.

The Challenge/Prompt: Write a song featuring sounds from an electronic device (Gameboy, cell phone, etc.)

So, I didn't follow the prompt exactly as I should have, but somehow I stumbled across a site where you can make your own beats, and sample stuff etc. I Randomly found some sounds I liked and put them together, then threw a beat behind it. I know it's weird, and might make your ear strain to hear what's going on, but you should get it after a listen or two.

This one is DEFINITELY not done, and I even forgot to take out the clicks I was using to record the backing chords, D'oh! The site said the upload file was too large to use, so I had to revert to cutting the chords down into chunks...which kind of throws off the timing.

One thing I've realized by doing this SW challenge, is that I need a better audio editor. The volume of my sounds are always too low, and the quality isn't that great. Anybody have any good free, or cheap, editor suggestions?

I will say, I like the harmony with the chords I chose...IF you can hear them, I'm sure you will find them interesting too.

Anyway, the original song is, Kali Ma by Janina Gavankar

Nature's Revenge

This song is my Day 2 post for Songwriting Month.

The prompt was: Write a song that features some sort of nonverbal vocalization (like ooh, ah, or lalala...or anything else that moves you).

Chorus is a bit weak, and I don't think I like the development of each verse in 'the story' for sure...But, I love the last verse. I still cringe at my singing sometimes too. ;) Hope you like.

Nature's Revenge

Your calm and collected fins
Those perfectly poised scales
Gliding purposefully through fluid competition
You’re a practiced assassin
And with a quick flick of the tail
You don’t always lash out at the smaller ones

We gotta watchit watchit watchit watchit watchit watchit or nature will crack
And when it’s coming coming coming coming coming coming for you
You better run run run run run run and don’t look back

Ooh, nature’s wantin revenge
It’s given all it can
It’s time we make amends
Ooh, nature’s getting revenge
Ooh, nature’s getting revenge
Getting revenge
Getting revenge
Getting revenge

You’re contently perched
Stuck in river moss and mud
The details of your age warming in the sun
You shrug at all the visitors
Thudding on your back
Interrupting your ageless conversations

We gotta watchit watchit watchit watchit watchit watchit or nature will crack
And when it’s coming coming coming coming coming coming for you
You better run run run run run run and don’t look back
Ooh, nature’s wantin revenge
It’s given all it can
It’s time we make amends
Ooh, nature’s getting revenge
Ooh, nature’s getting revenge
Getting revenge
Getting revenge
Getting revenge

Antagonizing winds
In the howling darkness waiting
Feel an urge to run as knotted eyes glare
I hear the hissing harmonies
Get the bony limbs a flailing
These angry junipers really make me scared

We gotta watchit watchit watchit watchit watchit watchit or nature will crack
And when it’s coming coming coming coming coming coming for you
You better run run run run run run and don’t look back

Ooh, nature’s wantin revenge
It’s given all it can
It’s time we make amends
Ooh, nature’s getting revenge
Ooh, nature’s getting revenge
Getting revenge
Getting revenge
Getting revenge

Songwriting Challenge Day 1

At about 8:30pm on May 1st, I discovered that May is Songwriting Month...JUST IN TIME!!

The idea is that you attempt to write a song every day in May. On this site NSWM, they give you prompts. Today's prompt was: Write a Love Song to an inanimate object.

Why wouldn't I choose the Banjo? DUH!!!

Anyway, I'm pleased with this one.

Love Ya Ol' Banjo

Your carefully oiled grain, your tightly ringing hide
Man & nature humming through your wire-wood delight
Those tense & twangy strings, wave in unison
My delightful singing, eternal companion

Love ya ol’ Banjo sitting on my knee
From smoky mountains to the salty seas
Make us stomp our feet, and sway to the beat
Banjo, I love the songs you sing!

Wildfire fingers soothing countless ears
Endless adventures, crossing barriers
Through choruses of hurt, in triumph we’ll grow
Pleasing crowds with chords to banish sorrow

Love ya ol’ Banjo sitting on my knee
From smoky mountains to the salty seas
Make us stomp our feet, and sway to the beat
Banjo, I love the songs you sing!

Solo!

Love ya ol’ Banjo sitting on my knee
From smoky mountains to the salty seas
Make us stomp our feet, and sway to the beat
Banjo, I love the songs you sing!

Apocalypse Sue!

Hello!

Here's a collaboration I did on Reddit, with /u/notarobat.

Lyrics by: /u/notarobat, Music by: Me(Although I did take a few liberties with the lyrics)

Apocalypse Sue!

Lyrics:

Jump rope lying on the dusty pavement
Echoes in the air crying 'Save me, save me'
Got a dead dogs eyes looking up at me
I'm stepping over bodies like one, two, three…While I sing

La di da di doo it's apocalypse Sue
Popping up from behind a fallen spruce
She's crazy as the day is and her clothes are loose
She used to have a kid once
That the world led away with a noose

And "Who are you?" we say when we see new faces
Because its rare to see a living one around these places
If we're hungry we gouge out their eyes
That’s four, five, six days of food they provide…While we chew, it’s

Curling up in ashes now to fall asleep
Surrounded by old tin cans in case they try to creep
I may need to run before the morning breeze
But, I got seven, eight, nine ways to make them bleed …and they scream

And the bad ones die and the good ones too
Some rest like deadwood in rivers of goo
Some lie in the streets between the cracks and the ashes
Some ten met their end swinging from dying branches …to the rhythm of